It is 11 oclock on a Sunday night and here I sit down stairs typing away on my laptop. Patrick is asleep upstairs after a long and tiring weekend and I can’t help but reflect on the past couple of weeks of my life. It’s quiet, no pandora or ipod, only the constant clicking of the clock Patrick just made a few days ago.
Where am I in my life? What is my vision and where am I heading? How am I going to get there? What interesting questions. The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of chaos. I ended my second year of college, had a few days of relaxation and then started summer classes. I work everyday nannying the cutest little girls. They can sometimes make me bite my tongue when all I hear is screaming from the 9 month old and “Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann. Ann.” from the 3 year old but I love them though and wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Now lets get real. What has God been working with me on? I can only describe it as an onion. Our most outer layer is what the world see’s, what facebook see’s, what people who you don’t really know see. Its the perfectly put together “I’ve got everything figured out” facade. Peel a few layers back and you get to the layer that your share with friends. People who you like to hang out with but there isn’t much depth there. Keep peeling and you start getting to the core. Who knows your core? Who knows your deepest struggles? Your passions? Very few people in my life do and I’m ok with that. However, there is one constant. God. He knows it all and at least I thought I was keeping Him in the loop. These past couple of weeks I have realized that God wasn’t at my core. He was in my heart, but not at my core. I told Him my passions long ago, my struggles, my dreams but lately I haven’t brought them back up.
You know that song, “I am a friend of God?” Well, yes God is my friend but I want more than that. When I think of friend I think of surface, have a good time, call occasionally. So in my life, I want God to be more than my friend. Lately God has been peeling back the layers and making me get real with Him. Breaking away the layers that I have worked hard to make perfect and in order. Revealing my core, my heart, the deepest part of me. Teaching me to trust Him and to face my struggles head on. I might try and hide or cry my way through it but God is on the other end saying, “See where you want to be? Lets work on getting here.”
There are many things in my life that I have to trust God on to bring me through. To trust in His understanding and not my own. If I don’t let God see my core on an everyday basis, I can’t get to where I want to be.
The Message Bible says this Philippians 4:13
I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.
He is who makes me who I am. He already knows my core, but He wants me to share it with Him. He knows my struggles and He knows when I’ll walk through the valley and He knows exactly when I’ll reach my mountain tops. The things is, is that He wants to walk with me through it all. He wants me to tell Him what I am struggling with so that He can remind me of the hope He offers everyday and to remind me to stand firm on His promises.
So this is what I have to say. Remember to keep God at your core. Keep Him right there with your passions, your dreams, your struggles, and the real you. Don’t forget to include God in your plans and your vision because He is who makes you who you are. You can’t get to where you’re going without God at your core. I believe that with all my
So I part with you at 11:30 and pray that God reaches your core if He’s not already there. Check yourself and get real.